Boundaries will free you, not confine you

Low stone wall

Photo by Sam Showalter

“What are boundaries, anyway”

is the second chapter in Allison Bottke’s Setting Boundaries for Women.

We usually think of boundaries as fences or barriers to keep us out of an area. In truth personal boundaries come as the result of healthy thinking and a strong self-esteem. When you are sure of yourself and have confidence you will not have too much trouble setting boundaries. And when you do you will free yourself to spend your energies as you should and not in ways that others demand you do.

At the beginning of this new year is a good time to evaluate if you have or are allowing others to cross your personal boundaries. Do you tend to let yourself be pushed around? Do you give in even when it goes against your better judgement? At work do you know what your responsibilities are? Or do you find yourself taking on responsibilities of others when asked? Are you the one your coworkers ask to cover for them because they know you can’t say no? Are you a people pleaser to your own detriment?

Psychological boundaries are the thoughts and opinions that we hold. Do you shift yours when under pressure from others? Do you allow yourself to be controlled by the opinions of others?  Or are you on the other side of the fence-you try to force your own way of thinking on others?

From Setting Boundaries for Women:

In order to set healthy boundaries, we must develop emotional authenticity. We must do some deep self-introspection and address significant life issues at the core of our being-issues such as pain from our past, codependency, depression, domestic violence, childhood a bust, alcoholism, divorce, unhappy marriages, addictions, and bipolar disorders.

Healthy personal boundaries keep us from bad habits, help us eat healthy, and prevent illness. They also build respect on the job and establish clear expectations.

What do you plan to do to establish a healthier boundary this year?

Share your thoughts with us.

2 comments

  1. I also think boundaries are very important.

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